Today, I'm an extremely well compensated engineer

Thanks for posting this. As someone with ambitious kids that will be in HS soon, this thread and the general doom mood on this topic has been worsening my hypertension…

I never studied hard in high school, had one AP, went to a mid tier university and got mostly C's and i also have a household income in the top 1%, a gratifying job and a loving family. I did what i wanted most of my life - i would rather program stuff than apply myself in school and that yielded rewards. I think the broader point is if someone's child wanted to apply themselves to be excellent, then i think that is quite alright but we start getting into trouble when parents are forcing their children or scaring them with "if you don't do this, your life is over" type advice.

At the same time, the problem is too many parents on the Internet and their kids feel like they have to do this. I'm in the top 1% of household income, have a rich life with a great wife, failed for 7 years to have a kid but we tried. I had a 3.8 in high school, took 4 AP classes, lettered in four sports and was Vice President of the art club but did no other extracurriculars, never volunteered, and began school at a perfectly normal 830 or so. I also dropped out my first semester of college, didn't go back for three years, and started back at a community college when I did start back, and lived out of my car for a while working overnight shifts detailing restrooms at a theme park. Then I ultimately joined the Army, jacked up my spine, could scarcely walk for years and was inches from suicide, not making the shift to a software career until I was your age. It still worked out in the long…

I’ll add the caveat that motivation matters a lot. The kids that worked hard because they wanted to be successful? They’re all very successful, even if some didn’t go to top colleges. The kids that worked hard because they liked the work? Happy, but financially mediocre on average. How much does a history major at Harvard make? Not much. Not a bad life though. The kids that worked hard because they felt forced to work hard? Most likely to burn out or get into hard drugs. For what it’s worth as a fellow member of the 1% I hope my kids end up in camp #2.