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dbg31415HNSource author
Lessons learnedExperience excerpt · English

7) I love for him to interact with people

… 7) I love for him to interact with people. Every time he goes to the dog park or gets out and meets a new friend... I'm happy and I want him to have conversations with people. But fucking hell, I swear 90% of the people who want to talk to the elderly are scammers. And at some level too... Dad doesn't mind being scammed if someone is willing to talk to him for 30 minutes... just listen to his stories. That's the hardest part. I tried hiring a nanny, just a local kid who was a baby sitter... to go and talk to him. It was OK. I tried Better Help, and tried to find a shrink that would work with him and not tell him she was a shrink... not be so overt about the whole process, but that was a disaster. Once Dad found out it was a "mental health" related call he got really mad... past generations don't have good opinions on that sort of thing. It's hard... I don't have a great solution. I got Dad a personal trainer, and a maid, and a nanny... and between them he has enough random people to talk to every week. …

Original discussionAsk HN: How do I keep my elderly father safe on the internet?91 source comments · at import
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SI
sickcodebruhHN

My dad, age 85 and a lifelong technophobe bordering on tech-hostile, began using a MacBook Air and iPhone regularly a few years ago. His activities are basic: text me and family, email, photos, read about art and music via sites found on Google, YouTube for how-to videos about specific art techniques, language learning with Duolingo and help from Google Translate, and some very infrequent purchases mostly on eBay and Amazon. He still struggles with the most basic UIs but he gets things done, it’s been great to see. But he keeps getting scammed. He usually recognizes it after the fact, he’ll fill out a phishing form and call me right away, “I did it again.” He always feels embarrassed. They find him through emails and text messages. He ignores many of them (I know because he tells me, “Another one came through!”) but there seem to be so many that some get him. I had to help him with somet…

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exolymphHN

Great comment. You're a good son. One small note: > the most frustrating thing is how many of these people we delete that just keep re-adding themselves. Facebook really should not re-suggest a friend if you delete them. Try blocking them? That might prevent re-recommendation.

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SI
sickcodebruhHN

This is so familiar. So much of it.. Thank you so much for sharing. You’re really not alone. I feel like maybe we need a support group of sorts for adults who are trying to help their agent parents survive technology. It’s so much to deal with and it feels so isolating at the time but it seems to be very, very common.

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JK
jkatingerHN

I know you're frustrated and angry, and I'm sorry for that. But I have to say both the content as well as the tone and tenor of this posting had me yelling "YES, YES!" out loud as I read it. Obviously I have some exposure to these issues in my life as well. Sadly, I have no solutions for you, but just know you are HEARD over here! PREACH my friend!!! Especially love the American Airlines callout!

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